AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

late 2020 update: LMAO SOMEONE TRIED TO PLAGIARIZE FROM THIS

hey nerds just because i don’t write anymore doesn’t mean you can get away with stealing from my old drafts. also most of my old writing sucked. if you’re gonna get yourself banned please at least find decent material.

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Mr. Wilkins
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Type
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Threat Level
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Active Status
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Other Names
"Trader Joe"

Description: If I had to call Mr. Wilkins something, I think it would be most respectful to refer to him as a ghost. He certainly fits all the basics. He doesn't show up in photographs or video feed, so the drawing attached to this page is probably the most accurate illustration we'll get. For the record, that goofy smile is accurate. Wilkins is a rather cheerful fellow, for someone who's dead. The smoke and polka dots are all real too.

Mr. Wilkins, according to news reports and personal testimony, is the spirit of a man who died in a Whole Foods store1. Although the building is considered abandoned, and rarely receives non-Society visitors, to date he continues to manage the grocery store as if it was fully functional, restocking food and operating the cash registers. He has a tendency to fade in and out of view at times, but this is likely a means to not disturb potential customers. He's definitely capable of interacting with the physical world, moving things around on his own and never asking for help unless it involves something directly outside of the building.

Something to keep in mind: Wilkins is very serious about his job. I mean that. He doesn't take kindly to thieves or anyone trying to mess up the order of his store. He'll know when something on the shelves is expired, too. And for the love of God, don't try to be funny and sneak anything from the cash registers.

Background: This won't come as a surprise, but the ghost we now know as Wilkins was formerly a man in his 30s named Dan Wilkins, the owner of the same Whole Foods store he now haunts. What's more surprising is that he died of a heart attack in one of the back rooms on July 13th, 2019. It's a rare occurrence for someone that young, but on that day I guess he was just unlucky, and suffice to say that he didn't get help in time.

What's particularly bizarre about this case is that, prior to his death, Mr. Wilkins seems to have been a fairly regular person. He looked normal, probably behaved normally too, and it's doubtful that he worried about his job any more than he needed to. Why he suddenly became so dedicated the management of the store itself is a question that probably won't ever be answered. Could just be that death did something to him. It's probably not a good idea to fixate on who he was or wasn't when he was alive, anyway. What matters is who he is now.

The person he is now is, unfortunately, the reason why the store was shut down. The doors were meant to be closed for only a week or so after he died, but in that time he scared off all of his employees. Maybe he never even realized it.

Location and Population: He lives all by himself in the abandoned grocery store in Fayetteville, NC. There's no guarantee that his "soul" or whatever is trapped there, as the stereotype goes, but he doesn't seem to have any desire to leave. Usually, Warders from the Goose Chase Outfit check in on him, but anyone is welcome to enter the store so long as proper respect is given.

Hunting or Procurement Methods: Mr. Wilkins is emotional, but not violent. We don't have anything in place to track him, and there aren't any plans to banish his spirit in a dramatic way. Some people have suggested that we take more violent measures, but Goose Chase does what they need to do and there's no good reason for us to make a ghost angry. The current plan is to keep the grocery store operational and hope that we can encourage him to move on to another life under his own terms. I'm going to keep an updated list of supplies we need on this page. Try to donate something if you have the chance, as long as you're not stealing from anyone.

Shoppers are welcome to visit the store too. If you're on the road and find yourself getting hungry or need something for a hunt, feel free to stop by. You don't necessarily need to bring cash, either. Wilkins will take anything if you can convince him it's valuable. Fake currency like Monopoly money works too. If you do find yourself in the store, feel free to buy whatever you want. It makes him feel better.

Encounter Records: Be sure to have good audio equipment if you're planning to record. Remember that the ghost himself doesn't show up in pictures or video footage. Transcripts available below.

Additional Notes: There's nothing in the back room where he died. We've checked. Give the guy some privacy, alright?

Unless stated otherwise Content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 License 2019