this is to save space
| χάος |
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| Other Names |
| Apep, Apophis, Nāḥāš, The Serpent, χάος, kaːɔskampf, The Abyss, Ginnungagap, ǵhehn, χάσμα μέγα, अराजकता, אי סדר , فوضى, The Faceless God, Ahtu, L'rog'g3 |
The original documentation for this aberrant was written by Professor Ordo Galison, representing Harvard University. It has since been converted to our format, however the original study may be found at the bottom of this page.
Description: The… Okay, the goat man, is. Well it's a thing. I don't wanna say Satan, I don't wanna say it's a demon, but. Yeah big but there. Well let's start with appearances.
The thing appears as a kind of glitching, shifty, maybe- I wanna say 5 feet tall? Maybe six, it was hunched over. But, every few seconds, it shifted into a kind of massive snake looking thing. Just for a second, it'd always go back to the goat. We found a picture of it, nearby where we saw it. I think I put it in the page, I don't want to look at it anymore.
Background: Goat man. I don't know where the fuck it came from, but.. The study I put at the end of the page should explain, bit too wordy for me. I can only assume it made its home in the woods there. I hope, at least, it stayed in the woods.
Of course a week before that, some warders upstate got a bunch of emails from a Harvard professor. Seemed like a nut, they just forwarded them to me for safekeeping. I attached the important one at the bottom, it's a possible explanation for whatever this thing is.
Location and Population: The woods. Just south of.. Some town in Michigan, I forget the name. Maybe a mile south of there. I gave the other guy my map, when we went into these woods. Writing this on my shitty pager, still trying to find a way back to town.
There's this old church. I don't think it's special, really, just the thing lived in it. Not on the map, of course, probably dated to the 1700s or something. If anybody's in Michigan, well, you've got the general area. I'll put it on a map when I get back. Inside the church, it'd obviously been ripped to hell, probably not recently. Altar had been replaced with some, like, surgical operating table thing, and all the crosses had been graffitied over. These odd symbols were painted everywhere, not anything freaky, but just like, a bunch of arrows pointing out from a circle. No pentagrams, thank christ, but still.
Place was coated in a mix of mud and, well I'll just say feces. Looked like the thing had made its den in the church, honestly. The place should be easy to spot on any mapping software, roof's painted pitch black for some reason. I'll bet it sticks out like a sore thumb in the backwoods. Atleast, that's how we found it.
Hunting or Procurement Methods: It looked angry when I called it satan. Distracted it just long enough for.. Anyways, guns don't work. I bet if you rammed it with a truck, maybe that'd do it. But it's long gone in the woods now. It seemed.. angry, at the other guy. See he was this Egyptian guy, I dunno if he was muslim or what, but he had a Quran on him. The thing got pretty pissed at the Quran. But of course I forgot the guys with it. Obviously not aberrants, just some norman teenagers. I'll bet they thought it was Satan, thought they were real cool following Satan around in the goddamn backwoods. You're gonna hunt this thing, be prepared for teenagers with knives. I don't suggest shooting 'em, honestly, they're just kids.
Encounter Records: Once. Only ever seen this thing once. But.. there's pictures of it, dating back to the middle ages. I don't know what to make of that. Of course when it attacked me and the other guy, just an hour ago, that's the first time this thing's been documented by the Society. Atleast, that I know of. I.. I have a recording of… it.
<Begin audio tape>
<2:15 AM>
Additional Notes: Found this scripture in the church library. Bunch of latin shit, someone'll translate it for me once this thing's posted.
Ante mare et terras et quod tegit omnia caelum
unus erat toto naturae vultus in orbe,
quem dixere chaos: rudis indigestaque moles
nec quicquam nisi pondus iners congestaque eodem
non bene iunctarum discordia semina rerum.Before the ocean and the earth appeared— before the skies had overspread them all—
the face of Nature in a vast expanse was naught but Chaos uniformly waste.
It was a rude and undeveloped mass, that nothing made except a ponderous weight;
and all discordant elements confused, were there congested in a shapeless heap.
And here's the e-mail I promised.
χάος, or Apep, as I will be referring to it in this study, is not a physical entity. It may manifest from time to time, but there is no reason to believe it is physical. It is not Satan. It is, abruptly put, the thing Hesiod was describing in his theogony. Magnum Chaos. However, there is evidence to suggest it is not anything magical. It may only take physical form when, and if, we decide it has. It has been depicted many times, as the serpent, a Satanic goat, or simply an abyss. It is the abyss that it takes the form of now, the abyss that lurks in the backs of our consciousness.
In my studies I have found that this thing will only manifest in certain cultural conditions, or in times of great religious/political strife. The Egyptians knew of it, even gave it a place in their pantheon. Which was clever, for ancient slave-owners worshipping cats in the desert, very clever indeed. This thing, it feeds off belief, it exists solely in our heads. It exists, because we believe chaos exists, because there is a seed of doubt in the back of our minds, "but what was before that?" It exists because of our drive to understand. And it cannot be understood. The Egyptians, however, knew this, and assigned it a place. They assigned it a meaning. Hesiod, too, understood this, and assigned it its place in the cosmos.
The thing- as it was now a being, saw this, and set forth to sow the seeds of strife in our world. But of course, as it was based on belief, it had to now abide by our rules. In the time of the Egyptians, it must wait to consume Amun Ra. In the times of the Greeks, it must wait in the black void beneath reality, and spawn forth new cryptic gods. In the birth of Christianity, it must serve the place of the Serpent, to wait for the second coming. In all religions, those who birthed them saw fit to force it back into its abyssal hole. But it lurks, still, in this time of atheistic debate, slowly creeping back into our hovels, and into the shadows generated by our blinking fires.
The thing takes many forms. Sometimes it is the Abyss, Ginnungagap, a place for those to be punished in. To the Greeks, it was the birthplace of the black primordial gods. I don't know if any of these places still exist. There's no scientific proof of any of them.
You can't hunt an idea. You can, perhaps, procure chaos. This is a feasible goal. To do this, however, would require immense religious belief- that being, if you ever find a manifestation of this entity, which God help you if you do, God may literally help you. If you are overly religious, this will serve to your advantage. If you believe with all your heart your bullets will hurt it, they may just do so. I don't have access to any of your records, however I do have access to history. And a timeline may be found below.
Genesis, the fall of man. I of course wouldn't dare suggest that Satan exists, however I will say this; the serpent was most certainly influenced by χάος to deceive Eve. That is, if the story is true.
2890 B.C.E., the fall of the first great Egyptian dynasty. I've already discussed in length the influence of the thing upon the Egyptians, so I shan't discuss that in any great length further.
146 B.C.E., the end of Greece. The Romans destroy the city of Corinth, and turn Greece into a province of the Roman Empire. I cannot say for certain that χάος had any specific influence here, however it was said that Greece fell into "chaos" for a short noteworthy period after the destruction of Corinth.
476 C.E., this date should hold much significance to all reading it. The fall of Rome. I know for absolute certain that this was the doing of χάος, as it was the fall of the greatest empire on the planet. How could the entity resist? It is impossible for it to not have been involved, as all of Rome was plunged deep into chaos. Indeed, the entirety of western civilization was plunged into a dark age, where religion and fear gripped us all.
I hope you will all take this message with due haste, as I know you are men who may use this information.
-Best regards, Professor Ordo Galison
| Lobster Tank |
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| Crab Tank, "Holy Fucking Shit It's Got Guns On Its Pincers" The Cryptid |
Description: Let's get this out of the way, I know the rumors. No it did not kill 57 men in Arizona. Or that group in Montreal. And no it isn't in fucking Europe, it can't travel at mach 5, and it can't shoot lasers.
Now that that's out of the way, physical description. It's a tank with lobster shit all over it. Look, I don't know what you expected when you clicked on this, really. It's got lobster pincers, lobster legs, its covered in patchy bits of lobster- do you get the idea?
It has guns, too, of course. And tank treads. Never been observed to reload at any point, just keeps firing. Looks to fire anti-aircraft rounds, was able to destroy another US Army tank. Its top speed is 45 miles per hour, and has never been seen to take any actual damage, other than explosives. It regularly grows new limbs when they're cut off, and is capable of growing guns on the limbs. Metal, guns. It grows metal. This process takes up to 15 minutes tops, and just kind of expands off the outer shell.
It's got a massive jaw on the front that opens up down to eat people. And yes, it eats people after shooting them. It doesn't need fuel, but it does need food. It's also been seen eating multiple destroyed vehicles, including a helicopter. I'm guessing this is how it gets the materials to build more guns on itself. I think.4
Background: It first appeared in 1997, in a minor skirmish with the Bureau in upstate Nebraska. Nobody knows how they keep the thing out of public eye, but I'll bet they just bribe the news outlets. It's not outwardly hostile, but it will mercilessly attack anybody who gets too close. And of course it's always on the move, so that's anyone it sees within firing range.
Though it mostly avoids major cities, it's never been seen to leave North America. Yes I know there's the rumor that it killed 5 guys in Moscow, that's not true. Of course there's rumors about the immortal crustacean tank that kills people, but I'd just like to clear those up. It has not killed as many warders as you all seem to think it has. It's in constant war with the Bureau, not us. We don't really even have to deal with it unless it gets close to a DCC. Like, of course, that "incident" where it destroyed the DCC in Montreal. But nobody died there, stop saying they died. They're fine.
Location and Population: Mostly the midwest, away from major cities. God you better hope there's just one. Of course, I say hope, but we've seen more than one. Another crustacean machine has indeed been spotted in Europe, however it's some kind of crab bike. We can only assume some group is manufacturing these, with magic or whatever the hell you use to graft living crustaceans onto vehicles. But, this specific crab tank has never left the midwest, with the exclusion of an excursion into Canada. It was quickly beaten back by the Bureau, though.
Hunting or Procurement Methods: Literally any kind of anti-tank weaponry, or explosives. Yeah I know that's blunt, but nothing else works. Bullets just bounce off, regardless of caliber. Melee weapons are an immediate no, as it's a goddamn tank shooting missiles at people. A flamethrower might work, but you'd need to get close. And it's got more than one gun.
Maybe if you lured it into a building and collapsed the building, maybe. But that's just unnecessary damage to what's probably Bureau property, and they're the ones keeping this thing at bay. So, long story short: explosives. Or just let the Bureau take care of it, honestly.
Encounter Records: It's not killed as many people as you all think it has. But, okay, fine, I admit, it did do the thing in Montreal. That's the only time it attacked a DCC, though.
The one time it exited the Midwest, was to attack Montreal. Nobody knows why, it just decided to. But when it got there, nobody was prepared for it. Of course they didn't have any anti-tank weaponry on-location, as they were Canadians, y'know, they aren't all prepared for an attack from a mutant lobster tank. The cryptids, at the place, they seemed to rally behind the damn thing. That was also the only time (that I know of) that multiple cryptids seemingly worked together to destroy a DCC. Though, granted, only the ones that were capable of doing that. The animal ones, it just shot. It shot everything there, really, after destroying the site. The Bureau only got there 14 hours after the tank, and managed to beat it back to the midwest.
Additional Notes: Investigation is ongoing into the crab bike in Europe.
hello again
| An edited version of the original image. |
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| Bruh Crab, The Spiral Crab, He Of The Spiral |
Description: Bruh Crab5 is a .jpg image stored within the Society database. Aside from one thing, it is otherwise a normal (and rather unfunny) image, in semi-popular "meme" format. If a person is to look upon the Bruh Crab image in its current state, they will experience immediate and fatal cardiac arrest, lobotomization, and cessation of almost all bodily functions. It's unknown at this time how or why this happens, only that it is 100% consistent with all cases. Normal instances of Bruh Crab found on the internet do not harbor this effect, seemingly only the one within the Society database.
As such, the image on this page has been censored (via computer program to avoid any Warder deaths), and is not the original image. The original image shall not be linked on this page, for very obvious reasons. If you, for some reason, want to see this image in its true unadulterated state, please consult your nearest DCC administrator, and follow their instructions. Note: the affect is instantaneous. Think it through before it's too late.
It should also be noted that the "Location and Population", and "Hunting or Procurement Methods" have been removed from this page due to their not being applicable. If anybody has any problems with this, they can kiss my ass politely file a complaint.
Background: "Bruh Crab" originally appeared in late 2018, assumedly created by the late Richard Smalls, a warder from South Dakota. It's unknown how exactly he created this image, or if its' properties were even created by him, however it should be noted that the image is technically a modified version of an image found in a Wikipedia article6. No evidence has been found to support that the image in the Wikipedia article isn't harmless, and as such, it is to be left in its current state.
Prior to the creation of Bruh Crab, mister Smalls was seen pacing around his living room, muttering in what his home security cameras dictated as Indonesian. This was initially assumed to be stress-induced paranoia, due to his previous dealings with numerous metaphs, and occult aberrants. Richard was known to be bit of a joker amongst his peers, though his humor was usually based in post-ironic memes, which he repeated on a regular basis. As such, his initial creating of Bruh Crab was just assumed to be him partaking in popular internet memes at the time, those specific ones being the "crab dance" video, and "bruh".7 Although his colleagues reported something of a downward spiral in his mental state during the days leading to his death, this was again assumed to be a response to his numerous dealings with occult aberrations.
When he created Bruh Crab, and uploaded it to the Society database, we initially tried to delete it. This resulted in the subsequent deaths of five warders, including Richard himself. This obviously warranted the image to be labelled an aberration, and this page to be written. At the time of writing, no other warders have been killed, although the image remains in the database.
Encounter Records: Although the image has only been "encountered" once, the being depicted in it is bears great resemblance to Carcinus, a Greek minor deity. Although it only bears resemblance in appearance, as the deity was said to have been crushed beneath the boot of Heracles, and placed into the constellation of Cancer by Hera as reward for its attempt. It is believed the actual image is a depiction of an entirely different "deity" figure, one vastly more powerful than Carcinus itself, seemingly capable of killing anything that simply looks upon it, in any form. Other "occult" aberrations have refused to comment on the nature of this entity, including one (which shall not be listed) becoming somewhat violent at the mention of it.
Additional Notes: Although Bruh Crab may be technically used as a way for some to commit instantaneous suicide, it should be noted that access to it is only to be given out at the discretion of the Great Circle. As Bruh Crab may also be used as something of an instant kill agent against particularly dangerous aberrants, the Great Circle has outlawed this for the foreseeable future. Unauthorized usage of Bruh Crab as an instant kill agent will result in it being used against you as punishment.8
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